I've recently begun the occasional practice of opening myself up to the universe.

It's hard to describe without sounding corny and attempting to copy or imitate eastern mysticism or traditional Wicca views but essentially it's like... we're all vessels of this... energy.
and that energy is our own, no one else's, but beyond our energy, our essence, there's energy that's all around us, that we're constantly immersed in the energy belonging to the universe itself. We see things around us as static because they are lifeless, but anyone who knows anything about the universe knows this is false, the universe is constantly moving, shifting, changing, expanding, growing, a symphony of transformations all guided by something I've come to refer to as the 'pulse'. I wouldn't so much call it the will of the universe as simply the force that guides all things that happen in the universe, like if i punch a bag of sand, the kinetic energy will undoubtedly transfer over and move the bag in a very predictable way that can be determined before the act even takes place, simply by knowing how much kinetic force i am about to transfer to the bag.

well the pulse is like that kinetic force, its very existence means that it moves the universe in a set path through changes, transformation, collisions and creations, without any inherent purpose other than to simply be, and no need for a purpose either.

and then there's us, life, not humans, not animals, not birds and insects and mammoths, but life itself, down to the tiniest bacterial life form. What are we? Each bacterial cell is itself composed of inert matter, proteins and acids and other substances i won't try to guess at since i have no knowledge on such things, but these things are, by themselves, lifeless, purposeless, content to simply follow the pulse, but we, living things, we inhabit these coils of lifeless materials, and we give them purpose, movement, action, thought. Simply by existing, we move against the flow of the pulse, we change it, affect it, ad to it. We create our own individual pulses that, invariably, radiate through out the entire cosmos, destroying the 'order' of things, creating beautiful, magnificent, unpredictable chaos.

why?

I've recently started to open myself up to the universe, putting my thoughts and emotions on hold and just trying to let the pulse flow through me, feel the movement and energy of the cosmos enter and leave my body, passing through me like a river and then flowing to every other living thing and connecting us. I won't pretend to have attained anything close to what some may call 'enlightenment' during these sessions, but it is a very tranquil feeling, and i know that one day the life that is mine will come to an end, and my coil will return to the order of the pulse.

so what is this purpose that we who are known as life are seeking in this universe? where did we come from? why do we feel the need to add to the pulse, to change it with our own? Why are we not content to drift along the currents o the cosmos like everything else? Especially if, in the grand scope of the universe and it's pulse, we are little more than blips. Our effect is definitely present, so we are nowhere near 'inconsequential', but  in the grand scope, we are only a raindrop falling into an ocean and rippling its waters with our impact.

at the end of the day, for what purpose do we seek purpose?